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Sex Education and Family Values

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                             Sex Education And Family Values
 
 


 Ι don’t really know if you ever had the experience that a person close to you was affected by some outrageous and heinous act of violence, crime or rape? Because I happened to have had such an abominable experience myself along with the fact that I am an educator, I can’t but express my indignation and anger towards such inhuman and exasperating conduct. This is why I chose to write about this topic and offer some insight and thought as a tribute to people who have suffered from criminal or sexual assaults whatsoever. Victims don’t talk much for various reasons. Pain is usually still and discreet. Often times our society demonstrates such a callous indifference and apathy towards our fellow human beings. Our complacency is really alarming. Why are we so detached and alienated from each other? Is it a sign of the times? “No one cares how much you know until they know much you care.” Theodore Roosevelt 

 Education by definition is considered to be the art of acquiring basic knowledge and skills. Sexual education today is very restricted or non-existent in families, schools or institutions, due to long-established taboos and religious superstitions, etc. However, in a Holistic Educational System, sexual education should be indispensable. Why? Firstly, sexual education should include all people regardless of age, gender, cultural background, etc. because it is a vital issue that determines human dignity, behavior, and action in what is the most precious, sensitive and crucial ingredient in our life. In this concern teachers and educators would act as mentors and coaches to guide the young people to a higher awareness of their life, sexuality and above all their identity as dignified human beings. According to Aristotle, the purpose of life is to attain happiness, but he also emphasized that the means to achieve it entails ethical principles which he called virtues (aretes). Happiness and joy in a heart relationship within a frame of ethical values or virtues contain a lasting effect and excludes any superficial, ephemeral and temporary pursuits. In this context, the emphasis on moral values and virtue ethics is the best protection for young and old. ‘’Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.’’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aristotle
 
There is a lot of talks, especially among adolescents about freedom and its perception as a moral imperative or not. Freedom has always a price if you violate it and forget that freedom and responsibility belong together. And the most common way to violate it is through rampant sexuality. This has to be clearly outlined because there are a lot of misconceptions about this issue. When there is clarity about those two conceptual terms of freedom and responsibility their understanding can contribute to correct decision-making through the filter of reasoning, emotional judgment and this is something worth teaching in class and beyond. The sense of responsibility grows when students get educated and that occurs by acquiring proper knowledge. It was the Greek philosopher Socrates who articulated the fundamental principle that ‘’ knowledge is virtue’’ and that its pursuit enables man to reach higher realms of awareness. Actually, that means that knowledge enlightens man so that he can increase his sense of duty and this consequently leads to maturity. However, if knowledge comes from an evil source it can be called, propaganda, misinformation, and lie. ‘’As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility.’’ Arnold J. Toynbee

 

 

 

Why can’t our tutors and educators teach the importance of healthy and decent sexuality to our children or are zoology and chemistry more important? Otherwise, our kids might think humans as ‘’advanced animals’’ have a lot of fun, assuming that this relationship is just a free exchange of fluids and nothing else. The irony was not meant to be here but only as an expression of aversion against the influence of certain theories that diminish the human value to animalistic behavior. ‘’The person who develops freely and naturally arrives at a spiritual equilibrium in which he is master of his actions, just as one who has acquired physical poise can move freely.’’ Maria Montessori. By the way, Darwin by his own account had declared that he was something between a believer and an agnostic while his theory had been twisted and misinterpreted. Usually, people act out of ignorance, and it is my personal conviction that every human being deep inside, has a desire to be good, lovable and compassionate. Nonetheless, all human beings indiscriminately are vulnerable to evil influences and misconduct due to an innate contradiction that was brought about presumably by a deviation from the right path so that humans became partly wicked and crooked and live in disharmony with themselves. Ironically, the ‘’blossoms’’ of that deviation are strikingly obvious in our life and society in the form of a cheat, decay, crime, sexual abuse, etc. and interestingly it has been recorded in the Scriptures as the Human Fall. Whatever the reason and origin of this account it is intrinsically perceptible by the majority of people that something is fundamentally rotten and crooked within ourselves, our life and society from time immemorial. 
 
Therefore, family and school have a pivotal role to fulfill that young people get what they deserve as human beings. What is most needed is assisted guidance that comes from distinguished role models which parents and teachers should be. Maturity and poise are essential factors to be taken into consideration before young people start their sexual life. Educators need to be enlightened, compassionate and conscious of their task in regard to a higher perception of moral understanding and ethical orientation. There are some basic components that constitute a mature individual with a character such as a well-balanced personality, moral standard, and integrity as a foundation to attain lasting happiness in a prosperous and truly intimate love relationship. As humans who question everything, we may face ethical dilemmas and doubts about such subtle subjects. However, according to Kant, this shouldn’t be the case as we all possess an inner voice or conscious mind which is very alert and ubiquitous: ‘’There is a voice inside you that whispers all day long, ‘’I feel that this is right for me, I know that this is wrong. No teacher, preacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide What’s right for you — just listen to the voice that speaks inside.’’ Shel Silverstein (Kant). Certainly, family and marriage go together and offer an environment of warmth and safety in combination with a love and trust relationship and commitment which broadens the scope of our life through the creation of a family and children. This environment can blossom all kinds of human relationships and challenges which enhance the potential to become an integral well-rounded character and personality.

 

 

If our education could give us such a precious gift and armor, then we would be better equipped and shielded against immature decisions and wrong choices. “Morality is not the doctrine of how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness.’’ — Immanuel Kant. As we all know love and sex are issues that are oftentimes abused and misunderstood, if dealt with without responsibility and dignity, especially when those involved are too young and not yet mature enough and unable to handle a relationship that might lead to an unpredictable tragedy. Today’s social media toxic dating culture goes together with our junk fast-food culture, which is harmfully enjoyed by millions of people. Is it called trendy or fashionable? The deification of premature relationships or free sex will mostly cause disappointment and traumas comparable to eating unripe, sour fruits. If love is twisted and egoistic then it loses content and value and isn’t love anymore. ‘’Sex education, including its spiritual aspects, should be part of broad health and moral education from kindergarten through grade twelve, ideally carried out harmoniously by parents and teachers.” Benjamin Spock 
 
As a matter of fact, everybody needs a human value-oriented education which can raise our awareness, understanding, and respect for human life and human relations. Nowadays, most people have wrong concepts about gender equality, human rights, and sexual conduct. The human sexual urge is a driving force in our lives and has tremendous power and vigor which can easily deviate from the right track if it is to become self-centered and seek its own self-indulgence and self-gratification regardless of the ethical implications. It is like nuclear power that needs to be absolutely controlled by our logic, emotion, intellect and love potential. If we deviate from the right moral track we are usually faced with disaster and frustration. Why so many good and intelligent people fail to find true happiness in life in a harmonious love relationship and marriage? Why so many divorces, dramas, traumas, and heartbreak? Why so many tragic, dysfunctional families and, tearful, hurt young children? That is why school and society should uphold the ideal of marriage and family values as a foundation for harmony and lasting peace within us and beyond. Why so many young people have to escape from reality and take drugs to find happiness and joy? If selfish desires interfere then we can observe all kinds of deviations like sexual harassment, violence, rape, crime, etc. 
 
Unfortunately, it seems like humans long ago have compromised with such phenomena and consider them as normal and don’t even think about doing something against them. Most young people today lack any spirituality and have a purely materialistic outlook in life. ‘’It is love rather than sexual lust or unbridled sexuality if, in addition to the need or want involved, there is also some impulse to give pleasure to the persons thus loved and not merely to use them for our own selfish pleasure.’’ Mortimer Adler. Values for example, like empathy, gratitude, service, etc have no physical shape but possess something immaterial and sublime. Again, if school functions properly, then educators can really heal the soul and instill kindness and affection into the hearts and minds of young people. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl-gL6t9Qbs. Our species was generously endowed with unique and sublime characteristics by our Creator and the fact that the human condition looks tragic and hopeless today does not mean that humans cannot reverse this situation and exercise their duty and responsibility. We are not doomed to fail; we have a choice. ‘’We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.’’ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

 

In this contribution, the approach to education is neither religious nor secular for the simple reason  that it is not meant to exclude anyone from this attempt to present an unbiased proposal to address this daunting task. However, there is a personal observation from my life experience about a quality ingredient that has an invisible, innate moral fiber. It has to do with the way we observe things and the value (price) we contribute to them. Imagine someone who lost his orientation in a desert, and he is in danger of starvation and death. If he only had an apple! By a rough estimate, a dead human body’s monetary value is no more than a few hundred dollars. An attractive, young, desired and much cherished top model might think her value is 1 billion $. What or who is to determine human value? Crucial question. What if you start looking at people differently right now and start finding value in every human being beyond his or her external appearance, gender, religion, culture or color? This can be a life-changing experience indeed. In fact, the value of human life is not measurable, it is invaluable because human life has a transcendent ‘’scent’’ due to love which transcends time and space. You can think of it on Mother’s Day! ‘’My value as a woman is not measured by the size of my waist or the number of men who like me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness and piety. And my purpose in life — despite what the fashion magazines say — is something more sublime than just looking good for men.’’ Yasmin Mogahed. 
 
Education begins at home, with family and carries on in school. Good parents and good teachers, both need better sex education and due to tested experience. Nowadays, the model of a nuclear family has been largely abandoned in western societies in contrast to the Orient, however, it still remains not only a past nostalgic memory but a desirable and enriched family environment and model. Sex education is not only sex pill, prevention or condom use or how to attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, sex is not only a misused word but oftentimes used to humiliate, condemn, rape, cheat, dishonor, attack, bully or even kill. But there is even more at stake. It is because all these profane attitudes and practices are inherently entangled with self-interests, selfish and false desires, and self-gratification. Therefore, it would be prudent for young people to avoid following the primrose path for their own benefit. Love in its most genuine, gentle expression is concerned with giving and extending joy and happiness to her counterpart. Why is this so? It’s because of the essence of goodness which takes a lot of toils and effort to be achieved. Ephemeral, temporary and casual relationships are lacking the most basic element which is true affection, devotion, and commitment. “That’s what I consider true generosity. You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.” Simone de Beauvoir. Love commitment goes beyond time and space and in that there is always a feeling of warmth, trust, and security. Supreme Love is not just a primitive instinct that seeks to be saturated, it is unselfish giving and exaltation and in other words the right path to lasting happiness. Passing the dignity and integrity test is imperative and indispensable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI 
 
In regard to faith, any religious belief can be used to justify egoistic and cruel bearings and actions. However, since we are created beings consequently, we are not justified to pass judgment on the Creator. Because we are not qualified and justified to do so in our own right. Religious or atheist people can be good or bad. Yet a truly religious person has a higher awareness of his existence, a sense of duty and meaning and along with his moral principles finds that his life is not in vain. He also knows the meaning to be good, righteous and also accountable for his or her actions, and he has faith and hope. That in itself is a great advantage compared to somebody else who has no explanation for his existence, has no outlook in life and declares himself harmfully ignorant about any ethical or moral values despite the fact that he may be a good, integral and moral person. In this sense, tolerance, understanding as well as respect should be exercised towards all, believers or non-believers, knowing that oftentimes the borderline between them is very vague and not clearly distinct. ‘’The consideration that human happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected will always continue to prompt me to promote the former by inculcating the practice of the latter.’’ George Washington

 

  

There are of course a lot of parents who do not agree with the implementation of sex education in schools for various reasons. It is definitely better for young students to be informed about sex and sexual issues from the right sources rather than outside sources like the internet, TV, and peers. In this concern, schools can protect young children and teenagers against misleading about sex and sexual issues from the right sources rather than outside sources like the internet, TV, and peers. In this concern, schools can protect young children and teenagers against misleading information. Correct knowledge is better than ignorance and a powerful weapon. Opponents of sex education should know that based on evidence and research conducted it is proven that sex education brings a lot of benefits and does not encourage sexual activity among youngsters but information. Correct knowledge is better than ignorance and a powerful weapon. Opponents of sex education should know that based on evidence and research conducted it is proven that sex education brings a lot of benefits and does not encourage sexual activity among youngsters but rather protects them from harm. In addition, concerned parents can still give their parental advice in informing and teaching their children their values. As mentioned above, children should be taught to be responsible and understand the balance between their rights, their freedom and also a responsibility which is a two-way street. Society ought to provide these young people with the sincere and proper knowledge to lead a healthy lifestyle in dignity and respect. “Nothing in the entire world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Martin Luther King, Jr. 
 
In conclusion, sex education has a highly important vocation and above all, it is a subject that is meant to enrich our lives with principles and something that goes beyond skills and mastery and has to do with the essence of our life and includes the art of sexuality in a love relationship which is an intimate symbiosis and an expression of care and feelings above all. It is our society’s responsibility to create the right conditions in order to raise the standard of our sex education in this regard and offer the young generations a better outlook on their life, health, and well-being whatsoever. They must be appropriately equipped to face the new millennium challenges through the advancement of Science and Technology and especially some major global challenges, i.e., poverty, climate change, unemployment, migration, HIV, AIDS and other health threats. Education institutions need to provide them with the proper knowledge they need to lead a healthy life and take personal responsibility to tackle any issues on the way to attain their life goals and above all to find true happiness in combination with healthy sex and love life.

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